關於 i can focus on what needs to get done ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

🔥👍 การันตีได้ว่าทุกคนเป็นเหมือนกันหมด
เวลานั่งแก้ปัญหาอะไรตั้งนาน
แบบคิดจนสมองจะระเบิด ก็คิดไม่ออกซะที
เช่น การเขียนโปรแกรม แล้วติดบั๊ก ติด error
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แต่พอเราลืมเรื่องนั้นไปซะ!
เปลี่ยนไปอาบน้ำ ดูทีวี เดินเล่นสวีตกับแฟน
อยู่ดีๆ ดันปิ๊งแว็บคิดแก้ปัญหานั้นออกมาได้ซะงั้น
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จะบอกว่าเรื่องนี้ไม่ใช่เรื่องแปลกแต่อย่างใด
ไม่ใช่คุณคนเดียวที่เป็นโรคนี้
คนทั่วโลกก็เป็นเช่นเดียวกับคุณ
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ถ้าเราจะเข้าใจอาการพวกนี้
ต้องใช้วิทยาศาสตร์ด้านสมองมาอธิบายโดยตรง
ตามทฤษฏี สมองมนุษย์มีการเรียนรู้อยู่ 2 โหมด ได้แก่
"โหมดเซียน" กับ "โหมด 9 หาง"
...อ้าวผิดเรื่อง ...อันนั้นมัน นารูโตะ
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การเรียนรู้สมองมี 2 โหมดได้แก่
👉 1) โหมด FOCUSED
เป็นโหมดของสมองที่กำลังโฟกัส
หรือมีสมาธิเพื่อคิดทำบางสิ่งบางอย่างอยู่
โหมดนี้ สมองจะใช้แนวทางเดิมๆ เพื่อแก้ปัญหา
ทำให้เรามุ่งมั่นหาทางแก้ปัญา หรือพยายามค้นหาปัญหาให้ได้โดยไว
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😀 ข้อดี ทำให้เรามีสมาธิ มุ่งที่จะบรรลุงานนั้นๆ ให้สำเสร็จโดยไว
เช่น กำลังเขียนโปรแกรมอยู่ ต้องโฟกัส จดจ่อเพื่อให้งานเสร็จ
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😱 ข้อเสีย จะเกิดการวนลูปทางความคิด
เช่น ตอนเจอบั๊กในโปรแกรม
เราก็จะวนลูป ใช้วิธีเดิมแก้ไปหาซ้ำๆ อยู่นั้นแหละ
พยายามกดคีย์บอร์ดด้วยวิธีการเดิมๆ
จนนิ้วจะแทงทะลุแป้นพิมพ์อยู่แล้ว
ก็แก้บั๊กไม่ได้เสียที ...จนอยากร้องไห้
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ที่เป็นเยี่ยงนี้ก็เพราะสมองไม่ยอมมองหาทางออก
ไม่ออกจากกรอบคิดแบบเดิมๆ นั่นเองครับ
นับเป็นข้อเสียของสมองโหมดนี้
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👉 2) โหมดที่สองคือ โหมด DIFFUSED
เป็นโหมดของสมองที่กำลังคิด
เมื่ออยู่ในภาวะผ่อนคลาย หรือพักผ่อน
เช่นตอนที่เราเดินเล่น ขับรถ ฟังเพลง อาบน้ำ เข้าส้วม หรือกระทั่งนอนหลับ ฯลฯ เป็นต้น
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ถ้านึกไม่ออก ก็นึกถึงตอนที่เราติดปัญหาอะไรซะอย่าง
พอหัวเราจะแตะถึงหมอนอยู่แล้ว ดันคิดออกมาได้เฉยเลย
หรือบ่อยครั้งที่นอนหลับไป
พอตื่นขึ้นมาหา ไอเดียแก้ปัญหาดันปิ้งแว็บออกมา
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😀 ข้อดี โหมดนี้เอาไว้ใช้แก้ปัญหาที่คุณไม่เคยเห็นมาก่อน หรือยากที่จะเข้าใจ
สามารถใช้คิดพวกไอเดีย หรือคอนเซ็ป ความคิดสร้างสรรค์แปลกๆ ใหม่ๆ ทำให้เราคิดนอกกรอบเดิมได้
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เช่น ช่วยหาทางแก้บั๊กในโปรแกรม
ในมุมหนึ่งที่ไม่เคยนึกถึงมาก่อน
ช่วยให้แหกกฏเกณฑ์เดิมที่เราติดปัญหาอยู่ได้
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😱 ข้อเสีย โหมดนี้มันทำงานเมื่อเราผ่อนคลาย
เช่น โปรแกรมเมอร์ตอนกลางวัน
แก้บั๊กแทบตายทั้งวัน แก้ไม่ได้สักที
พอเลิกงานกลับบ้านปุ๊บ
กำลังจะงีบหลับ ดันคิดออกมาได้ ...โธ่ชีวิต
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หรือบางคนมีสกิลพิเศษ แก้บั๊กในความฝันได้
จนต้องสะดุ้งตื่น
จากโปรแกรมเมอร์ กลายร่างเป็นนกฮูก
ไม่ยอมหลับยอมนอน เขียนโปรแกรมจนเสร็จ
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ถ้าเราเข้าใจคอนเซปต์ของสมอง 2 โหมดนี้ละก็
- ตอนแก้ปัญหาไม่ออกก็สลับไปใช้ โหมด DIFFUSED ซะ
- เมื่อได้ไอเดียมาแล้ว ก็สลับไปใช้โหมด FOCUSED ต่อ
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แต่ทั้งนี้เราต้องเข้าใจเสียก่อนว่า
มนุษย์โลกทุกคนไม่สามารถใช้ 2 โหมดนี้ได้พร้อมกัน ...เศร้า
ต้องเลือกระหว่างโหมด FOCUSED หรือโหมด DIFFUSED
เลือกให้ทำงานโหมดใดโหมดหนึ่งเท่านั้น
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ดังนั้นเราต้องหัดสลับสมอง 2 โหมดให้เป็นนะครับ
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ซึ่งวิธีสลับโหมดของสมอง
มันมีประโยชน์ตอนทำงาน
หรือจะตอนอ่านหนังสือสอบก็ได้
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วิธีสลับโหมด ผมขอเสนอ 2 วิธีแล้วกัน
👉 1) ใช้เทคนิคคือ "Pomodoro Technique"
คือให้ทำงานไป 25 นาที (โหมด FOCUSED)
แล้วผ่อนคลายอีก 5 นาที (DIFFUSED)
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แต่วิธีนี้อาจไม่เหมาะ ตอนเอาไปใช้ในทำงานจริงเท่าไร
...เพราะถ้าหัวหน้างานเห็นเราทำแบบนี้
คงคิดว่าเราอู้งาน ทำไป หยุดไป
เราอาจดัดแปลง ทำไปได้สักชั่วโมง สองชั่วโมง
เมื่อสมองล้า ก็พักเบรกเสียบ้าง จิบกลางแฟ แชทคุยกับแฟน
เล่นเกมคลายเครียด เดินยืดเส้นยือดสาย เข้าไปนั่งในส้วมเล่นๆ
ทำสัก 5-10 นาที พอ
...แต่ทั้งนี้หัวหน้างานต้องเข้าใจนะ ว่าเรากำลังผ่อนคลาย
...เป็นเทคนิคการคิดงานโดยใช้สมองโหมด DIFFUSED
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👉 2) หรือเราจะปล่อยให้คิดงานทั้งวันไปเลย
แล้วถ้าพระอาทิตย์ตกดิน ยังคิดไม่ออกละก็
อย่าไปซีเรียส ให้กลับบ้านเข้านอนโดยไว
เพื่อให้สมองเข้าสู่โหมด DIFFUSED โดยธรรมชาติ
เป็นการรีเซทความคิดใหม่ พอตื่นขึ้นมาสมองโล่งคิดออก
รุ่งเช้าค่อยกลับมาเข้าโหมด FOCUSED เพื่อทำงานต่อไป
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หวังว่าบทความนี้จะเป็นประโยชน์
ถ้าชอบกระทืบ like ....มันชอบอย่าด่ากันเยอะมันเจ็บ
เขียน โดยโปรแกรมเมอร์ไทย thai programmer
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อ้างอิง
https://staciechoice1010.wordpress.com/…/focused-vs-diffus…/
https://www.themetalearners.com/how-to-utilize-both-brains…/
https://www.instructables.com/id/Learning-How-to-Learn/
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<ประชาสัมพันธ์ ขายหนังสือ/>
“โปรแกรมเมอร์ก็รวยได้ ด้วยเส้นทางเอาท์ซอร์สสายดำ”
ความยาว 176 หน้า กระดาษ A5 (≈ 41,002 คำ)
แบ่งเป็น 2 เวอร์ชั่น
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ติดต่อสั่งซื้อไดที่ไลน์ @269aibvq (เฉพาะ PDF)
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ไม่มีแจก PDF ปรินต์ออกมาไม่ได้
ราคาถูกลงมาหน่อย 250 บาท ฿
กับ 279 บาท ฿ (ซื้อผ่านระบบ Apple)
ซื้อได้ที่ 👇
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สำหรับตัวอย่างหนังสือ ดาวน์โหลดได้ตามลิงก์ข้างล่าง 👇
https://drive.google.com/open…
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✍ เขียนโดย โปรแกรมเมอร์ไทย thai programmer
🔥👍 Guarantee that everyone is the same.
When I sit to solve something for a long time.
I can't even think about it. My brain explodes.
For example, programming and getting hooked on error.
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But when we forget about it!
Changed to take shower, watch tv, walk in sweat with my girlfriend.
I suddenly think that I can solve that problem.
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To say this is not strange at all
Not you the only one who has this disease
People around the world are just like you.
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If only we would understand these symptoms
It takes brain science to explain directly.
In theory, the human brain has 2 modes of learning.
′′ Sienna mode ′′ and ′′ 9 tail mode ′′
... Oh, it's wrong... That one is Naruto.
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There are 2 modes of brain learning.
👉 1) FOCUSED mode
It's a mode of the brain that is focused.
Or concentrate on thinking about doing something.
This mode, the brain will use the same old way to solve problems.
Make us determined, find a solution, or try to find the problem quickly.
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😀 Advantages make us concentrate on achieving those tasks quickly.
For example, programming, focus to get the job done.
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😱 Disadvantages will be a thought loop.
Like when I found a buck in the program.
We are going to loop the same way. We are going to find it again.
Trying to press keyboard the same old way
My fingers are going to penetrate through the keyboard.
I can't fix my buck... I want to cry.
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The reason I'm like this is because my brain doesn't want to look for a way out.
I don't leave the frame. I think the same way.
It's a disadvantage of brain mode.
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👉 2) Second mode is DIFFUSED mode.
Is a mode of thinking brain
When resting or resting
For example, when we walk, drive, listen to music, shower, toilet or even sleep etc etc.
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If I can't imagine, I think of when I'm in trouble.
When my head hits the pillow, I just think about it.
Or often sleep over.
When I wake up, I find an idea to solve problems. I push them out.
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😀 This mode of advantages to solve problems you have never seen before or difficult to understand.
Can be used to think about ideas or concepts of innovative innovations. It makes us think outside the same box.
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For example, help figure out a way to fix a bug in the program.
In a corner I never thought of before.
Help to break the same rules we are in trouble.
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😱 Disadvantage. This mode works when we relax.
Such as a daytime programmer
I can't fix a buck all day. I can't fix it.
When I finish work, I go home.
About to take a nap. I figured it out... Oh life.
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Or someone has special skills to fix the buck in their dreams.
Until I start to wake up.
From a programmer to an owl.
I don't want to sleep. Programming is done.
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If we understand these 2 modes of brain concepts.
- When I can't solve problems, I switch to DIFFUSED mode.
- When I get an idea, I switch to FOCUSED mode.
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But we have to understand first.
All human worlds can't use these 2 modes simultaneously... Sad
Must choose between FOCUSED mode or DIFFUSED mode.
Choose to work in one mode only.
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So we need to learn to switch brain 2 modes to be.
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Which way to switch mode of brain
It's useful while working.
Or when I read the exam book.
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How to switch mode. I would like to offer 2 ways.
👉 1) Technique is ′′ Pomodoro Technique ′′
Well, let's work for 25 minutes (FOCUSED mode)
Then relax for 5 mins (DIFFUSED)
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But this method may not be suitable when you use it for real work.
... Because if the supervisor sees us doing this.
I guess I'm ooh. My work is done. Stop it.
We could be modified for an hour or two.
When my brain is tired, I take a break. Sip in the middle of a coffee chat with my boyfriend.
Playing games, relaxing, walking, stretching, hanging out, sitting in the toilet for fun.
Do it for 5-10 minutes. Enough.
... But the supervisor needs to understand that we are relaxing.
... It's a brain-thinking technique. DIFFUSED mode.
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👉 2) or we'll let it think about work all day.
What if the sunset hasn't figured out yet?
Don't be serious. Go home. Get bed early.
In order to get the brain into DIFFUSED mode naturally.
It's a reset of new thoughts. When I wake up, my brain is clear.
Come back to FOCUSED mode in the morning to work.
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Hope this article is helpful.
If you like to stomp like.... you like it. Don't scold too much. It hurts.
Written by Thai programmer thai coder
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Reference.
https://staciechoice1010.wordpress.com/2014/08/08/focused-vs-diffused-mode/
https://www.themetalearners.com/how-to-utilize-both-brains-thinking-modes-focused-vs-diffuse/
https://www.instructables.com/id/Learning-How-to-Learn/
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′′ Programmers can also be rich with black outsource routes
Length 176 pages h̄n̂ā paper (≈ 41,002 words)
Divided into 2 versions
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For the book preview, download the link below 👇
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1tAnMozeYd63dcbBGTQmT_ZrpSaamZS3e
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✍ Written by Thai programmer thai coderTranslated

JANGAN IZINKAN IBU LAHIRKAN TUANNYA

Masa awal aku kahwin dengan isteri aku, aku dapat pakej 4 orang anak. Alhamdulillah. Yang mana 2 daripada 4 ni istimewa sikit. Dua-dua aspergers. Sorang ADD sorang lagi ADHD. Paling mencabar sekali tau tak apa? Anak-anak ni sebelum kehadiran aku, diorang ni di manjakan betul. Cukup manja! Semua nak, dapat. Tak boleh kena tegur, mesti menaangis dan membentak. 3 lelaki, sorang perempuan. Masa tu umur yang sulung 14 tahun. Yang second 12 tahun...
Continue ReadingDON ' T ALLOW MOTHER TO BORN HER MASTER

When I married my wife, I got a package of 4 children. Thank God. Which 2 of the 4 is a little special. Both aspergers. Another ADD another ADHD. It's most challenging to know it's okay? These kids before my presence, they are being pampered right. Pretty spoiled! All want, got it. Can't be told, must cry and snap. 3 men, a woman. At that time the eldest was 14 years old. The second 12 years old. Third 9 years old. Fourth of 6 years old girl.

First time entering the family, I've had a meeting done. With gangster style, long hair braids. I'm doing a LIVE FB meeting with children. In the meeting, I just entered the family, so follow my rules. I don't follow their rules.

At the beginning, many people who are nearest have started tripping and spreading stories, not saying that I will hit the kids. The swing bowl is right who reads people from this person's use.

Remember the early marriage, my wife always reminds me of me. If these kids promise anything they need to be fulfilled, they will cry badly and scream. Hard to persuade. Sometimes I want to break my breath and cry. The other one is ADHD if he cries, he can't be angry, he has to say it carefully. Because later he will be raging and coming hyper. The one who added is his own attitude. It's just his problem that he doesn't take the port. The eldest is the most pamper. Ask for whatever the confirmation gets. After that it's urgent to work.

I really don't feel like I'm suitable at all. What should I do? Wash his mother first. My wife cried when she washed her first. I said it's simple. I don't want my son to grow up to die and get everything he wants to wear. Nothing, tomorrow won't be given, he rebel like going crazy.

Everything that my wife says can't do, I prove it to my wife, everything that she thinks is wrong. I made it. I didn't see anyone doing what my wife said. I just tried to bring MCD, then I parked at the Tomyam shop. Look at all the faces that are slammed. But no one is crying.

That's where it all started. Until one part I saw my wife still wrongly. I said it's simple.

′′ Want something big, need a big sacrifice. If you maintain like this, it's too wrong that you have to follow all your child's wishes, you're afraid to say NO and then you're crying and tired of your brother Trust me. Just like this, you'll lose your brother. Choose. ′′ ′′

Hah my wife was shaking at that time.

Yes, it's not easy to fight the mother's instinct. I really understand. But have to remember, you want to be sad until when you just want to entertain the extreme motherhood instincts? How do you want your child to grow up? What's he doing today, he's already big tomorrow. You're poor, he asks for something you can't fulfill. You think he got it? That's the wrong time he just said this sentence.

′′ Why is my mom not like someone else's mom. It's okay. I am not important ′′

Heart was shaking at that time. He didn't tell me 100 times, once didn't let him release such a painful sentence?

I'm nothing, kids like this even more men, have to grow up to be men. Not a bapok, not a Kpop. Man. The world will come far more evil. Responsibility is far bigger. It is compulsory to grow up to be a man. I repeat.

MEN.

That's when my wife slowly became a mad mother. Kah kah kah. The kids were shocked at that time. Suddenly mom is good at screaming? Suddenly mom is good at tunjal head? Suddenly mom is good at slapping? Suddenly mom dares to throw her phone against the wall?

Most power if a child I say near her mother,

′′ Mom doesn't love me, I hate mom.."

If my wife used to hear this verse, she will feel sinful and crying. Now you know what my wife answer?

′′ Once you hate me, 100 times I hate you.."

Stunned again child. Feels like the tactical of playing sentiment is not going to be. Continue to continue doing homework.

After that the scene of running away from the middle of the night, haa my wife is already cuak. Look for me to tell my child to run home. Cleaning up the bag. If you're as a mother, are you rocking? 10-year-olds when they were running home. Other siblings are busy trying not to run away, they insist on running.

I told my wife I'm happy je.

′′ Do not persuade. Just ask him to run the house faster. Go help her pack the bag. Do not worry. I used to threaten my mother like this when I was small. When my mother is stupid, I stay outside for a while and then I will go home because it's scary outside the dark.. if you persuade, don't run away, believe Tomorrow he's busy threatening to run again."

My wife went down and asked her to leave her house faster. This kid won't go out after opening the door. Look at the dark outside. He immediately opened the saji headscarf, making him hungry. It's so hard to look at it.

Want to turn into a Lion, it looks evil. Many will talk about this. You say you don't love your children. If this part is not strong, it will be stupid to be eaten by these words. But you have to believe one thing. This mother and father knows her child better than all of you. He knows so much. Know which limit he can make or not. We who watch from outside don't pretend to teach other people's children, teach our own children first to let go. Look at our children today he appreciate us how.

I was worst being criticized at that time.

He said since my wife married me, my wife's attitude has changed. Getting harder. Fierce with the kids. And many more lah. I'm lazy to take a port. The one who speaks is a woman who has never tasted anything. Work is great. So bored listening to it. But I'm cooking so much, it's normal that the sound of this person's confirmation since childhood has never lived hard, the child and the one that is like diva is usually the same. Just deaf the ear. Focus on the mission for the good of the child to come.

After 3 years, I recently had a meeting with all my children. I ask, did you notice that mom used to be different from now?

All bobbing. Getting more ferocious and crazy people say.

I'm so happy to hear. Let go of that I said.

′′ Try all of you to look back at this day. What's the difference? Neno 8 years old can be brushed by school clothes. Already able to wipe Ayra out. Luth 10 years can wash everyone's dishes. Hoze is the most improvement. From my own world today, you are the most helping to work in your house. 13 years old, washing clothes, hanging clothes, sleeping ayraa, bathing ayraa. And many more. Anish, you are the eldest brother. Thank God. No more pushy. See you already understand the reality of being a brother. Every morning sitting in the kitchen helping mom cook.. that's okay. Proud for a while Dedi. Dedi is nothing, you ask Dedi's siblings if they are rude to his mother, what happens to them. Must eat Dedi's feet. You become a son, you have to be a protector to your mother. Don't make it a slave mother."

All sighs. I'm connecting again.

′′ Do you know why this Seremban house Dedi doesn't install air conditioner near Indeed Dedi doesn't let mom install air conditioner. Let me sleep hot. Learning how to use a fan. Dedi used to grow up but never sleeps in air conditioner, thank God I grew up healthy. Dedi wants anything can't just get like that. So men have to learn how to feel hard. So that tomorrow, you will learn to be grateful. I will remember your parents when they are happy. You'll be close to siblings, tomorrow this is what you'll laugh back when you tell the story. Trust me. All of these are the sweetest memories. Mother and father don't know when will die. Maybe tomorrow we die, at least Anish can take care of the younger siblings."

Everyone was laughing at that time. My eldest child will interrupt in a while.

′′ Dedi, but honestly Anish likes the current mother from mother before. Even though it's fierce, but it's true when I remember it again. All of us are good at all. I just noticed that someone else is 8 years old but doesn't even know how to take care of the baby who is a year old and shower and defecate. Luth has changed a lot. No more crying. Hardworking. Hoze has changed a lot of crazy. Playing with the phone. There's only one problem, when you have a relative, you can come, don't sit in the Just sit down once. Anyway, I swear, Anish loves the mother who was now from the old times. Even though the current mother is crazy saiko! Haha. Mom, you are Queen Of My Heart! Mother is crazy, before Anish didn't understand a lot. When Anish sees mom struggle, Anish becomes a pity. Just saw all the sacrifices of the mother for all of us."

Others bobbing heads agree and laugh with what brother anish he said.

All impressed when I remember back. Until neno's turn, she keeps crying. She really apologizes near her mom.

The most powerful, they are siblings when their aunt wants to ask them to come out. Each one has completed the job of who managed his / her sister's clothes this year, who will beat his / her younger sibling's pampers, who will manage his / her sister's pampers. All of them think for themselves. Talk to each other and manage the equipment of his little brother who is a year old. No need to have a mother with her dedi.

Power, isn't it? Two Aspergers, an ordinary person. The eldest has entered MRSM. It means that the number two child of ADD is taking over.

Even when I'm going back to hometown, my wife just gave me an order. They all clean up their own bags. My wife doesn't even mix a single dust. My wife looks like a big boss today. All homeworks are managed by the child. My wife's duty is to cook. Wash clothes, dry clothes, wash dishes, wash toilets, throw away garbage, shower ayra for a year, all the kids who manage it.

If I don't move, I won't let my wife shout out to other children. But mad at the eldest child. Let the eldest child be stressed. Whatever happened to the younger siblings, I told her mother to kill her eldest child. So when the younger siblings aren't working, fighting, the eldest brother already knows that he needs to be tiaw with his mother later. Didn't say much, he just settled his younger siblings. That's it brother!

Thank God. The story is only one. Our children, we know each other. There's a part of being fierce, there's a part that needs to be There's a part that can laugh. This mother has one veto power, but many are afraid to use it because she is not in other s' language and is so afraid that her child will hate It doesn't mean anything! It's boring to entertain the sentiment of pity that is extreme. You used to be your mother who hit your face, do you hate your mother to big? Nothing. We're fierce because we just want to educate. Not fierce all the time. More than firm. When you see your child hardworking, listen to it, there's a day that will give you a surprise Chocolate or what? Taking a walk to the park. Time with family has to be there.

If you're too spoiled, you can make your child become responsible and the person who will defend your family, I think that the Malay soldiers won't even be training hard as hard as possible. It's better for them to just pray for all the new soldiers. What do you want, everything is given. Wake up late, swipe your hair and then kiss your forehead. Even eating time is delicious. Sleeping at night comfortably, installing air conditioner. Put on the wifi.

What was it?

Before you want to say this person, ask ourselves first. Our 7-year-old child eats, is he good at washing his own dishes? Do you know how to follow your time schedule? Can you brush your own school clothes?

If you're not good at anything, don't make me feel bad about the way other father's mother educate someone's child.

The hardest episode in educating children at this age. Believe me, this will all be a longing for the kids when they leave the house later. And this also makes them siblings get closer.

Patience, victory day is coming! Early sacrifice is the most important. Fight all the wrong feelings that always play in the soul. Only one thing you have to remember, as long as you don't fight with religion. Mom is never wrong! Angry, fierce lah. Do not worry. Continue to educate our ways. Don't forget the power of Veto!

Eh forgot, waimah is a special child. What the doctor said put number two. Accompanying kids like normal kids before but there's a limit. Don't teach him to be a special child since you were young. We know our children again, right? Because I always believe, crazy people when we clap their hands twice when they want to take our food, the third time they will understand and won't take it anymore. That's the crazy person. So, Don't let the child know he's special. Don't disturb her brain. Just entertaining the same thing.

Everyone is like that. If he feels like there are advantages, there is someone who defends more, he will start to get a chance. Can't believe it? You try to pamper your child crazy. Let go of the try in front of you, someone tease him less, you see how he has torn to tears later he will get your attention.

Anyway..

Only one thing I'm still failing. Failed to change their name call among siblings. No call Along, Angah, Bangde. I feel strongly, calling this name also has a certain advantage to put the difference between the younger brother and brother. There is a family aura.

Don't forget, Father's role in psychology is important to be crazy. Because with this mother, no matter how fierce it is, the child is brave to fight. Dad must be good at playing roles. No need to touch, you need to know when you want to have a high voice. When you want to call your child, sit down and talk about others.

Become a child idol.

Trust me, step child and biological child two things that are impossible. Because the power of VETO only exists in biological children. This step child has a risk that you need to face. What happened to them, people will say that you don't love them because it's not your biological child. Painful and sad that sentence is for me. Allah knows how I love them.

I wrote it,
Mr Amir Lake

P / s: In the past my wife was criticized by the Aspie group when my wife said she educated her aspie's child in the way she was a little firm. All sorts of people are teasing, he said that this aspie child will take revenge and kill him. Have to be teased every day. Poor. My wife doesn't agree with my actions early because she holds the doctor's order. Today, I'm asking my child aspie. Tomorrow if mom gets disturbed by someone else in front of you what will you do? What did he answer? I'll hit him enough! And I asked my wife, how about the person who teased her child? He said his child is under control but sometimes he's raging badly until he's about to breath. At the same time today my child aspie is good at cooking, can do all homework and love his siblings so much.

Mr. Amir Lake creditTranslated

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

-------------------------------------------

Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)

Week 2, I don't have much time as each week gets ticked off and I think i've pottered about enough on my training. My food has been very good for the past two weeks. I haven't had a cheat since the start of Phase 7, my coach told me it was going to be a hard reset on my system and I have to say it came at a great time as I got exciting news.

I was going to get my chance to be on the September COVER issue of Women's Health Malaysia Magazine!

O.M.G!!!

It has always been one of my dreams to be on the cover of a magazine. Yes I've been on them before - twice to be exact - but I've never been shot on my own before. This would be my first. Thank you again Women's Health Malaysia for giving me the chance to tell my story, I truly hope what I shared will inspire other females out there, who will in turn inspire many more females in the process.

Talking about training a lil bit, only managed to get in 4 days of training and what i consider cardio. That has to stop, i'm suppose to be getting in at least 5 days of solid training in. That has to happen this week!

In the midst of all this work continues and have fun watching snippets of the Color Run KL which finally came back to Malaysia after 3 years. Very honored and grateful that they called me back. I've hosted many runs over the course of 5 years and The Color Run will always hold a special place in my heart, cause the energy given by the crowd is a whole different level.

Some words of wisdom. I shared this a while back and just wanted to share on how to stay motivated.

For anyone starting on their fitness journey. Motivation is something very personal and it can only come from a strong source, which is yourself. When you embark on your fitness journey, ask yourself WHY.

Why do want to get fit? Whats your purpose to do so?

It is something that requires commitment and hardwork but the rewards are great. I propose this question. Because everytime you think of quitting, remember your Why. Your why needs to be strong. And when it is, you will find the strength to do what is necessary to continue forward with your journey.

Sounds deep, but this is why I call it fitness with a purpose. :)

With that, i'll leave you for this weeks Vlog. Thank you again for joining my journey. Here's to me getting better focus for this week and may you have great focus too.

In the meantime do find me here:
http://instagram.com/linoralow
http://facebook.com/linoralow
http://twitter.com/linoralow
http://www.linoralow.com
snapchat : linoralow

i have a confession..

I confess i let go while i was on holiday. I was suppose to stick to my nutrition plan but for 1 a half days i just went... screw it all i want to eat more cake and junk that wouldn't be good for me.

I felt the difference of 1 day eating absolute rubbish.. the contents on Sunday was a cinnamon role, 1 waffle, chocolates, jelly, 1 big cookie, 1 big bowl of instant noodles, muruku.. yes thats it. That one day of eating rubbish made a difference cause the following day on Monday, now it makes sense why I was feeling rather drained and my lactic acid built up a lot faster than usual. Wow if i felt the difference in one day, can you imagine what it'd be like if i had eaten nonsense for a whole week??? While the failure was there, but i'm taking it as a lesson and it makes me once again understand my body a lot more.

The training program has now changed to a strength phase and my nutrition has become a lot stricter. It should've been strict to being with and it was but now justa lot more. Especially in regards to my carbs. NO MORE BANANA! Banana's have a very high glycemic index and one banana would shoot me out of my carb quota which is 50g. I need to get the body into a state of lipolysis so that i can burn fat effectively.

Body issues or insecurities also played a role in this episodes. You go through a number of emotions as a female doing this, i suppose. Stems from times when we are the most critical bout our own physique, how we think people will judge you... but in all honesty, we shouldn't care. I'm learning to not care and just keep focus on building a better me. And i think everyone needs to realise that too. :)

Thanks again for joining me on this journey and I'll see you all next Monday!

Meantime do find and follow me here:
http://instagram.com/linoralow
http://facebook.com/linoralow
http://twitter.com/linoralow
http://www.linoralow.com
snapchat : linoralow